I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
