I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
