I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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