i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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