"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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