i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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