bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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