one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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