An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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