i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
