He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
