his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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