Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize