I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
