He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
