puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
