trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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