But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
