so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
