Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
