He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize