Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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