I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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