I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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