why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
