She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
