Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize