Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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