Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize