My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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