i barfeds in our rink
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
