I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize