with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
