Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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