12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
