Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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