I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
