like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
