The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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