I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
