I'm really into asian looking animals
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
