I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
