How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
