Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
