cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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