Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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