Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
