They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
