you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize