billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize