just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
