seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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