She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
