Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I deserve this hangover.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
