thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
