you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize