I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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