Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
