My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
