I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
