Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
