how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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