So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize