And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
