i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
